In a daring acquisition, we procured this specialized truck in Italy just before embarking on a mission against the Nigerian Mafia in Southern Italy.
We simply stumbled upon it and it was evidently meant for us.
Here it is on a man hunt in Europe.
The Inside of The Tech Truck:
Equipped with 8 adaptable beds, a compact kitchen, a shower, toilet, high-speed internet, an 85″ widescreen monitor, satellite uplink, a safe, laser equipment, air conditioner, meteorological instruments, a small server park, laptops, bulletproofing against handguns and small rifles, and even a coffee machine! The truck is armored, offering protection against small calibers including handguns and submachine guns.
The Computer Division of The Tech Truck:
The security of the computer tech is monumental. Our computers are armed with special surveillance software developed by Goldie. It monitors every aspect and triggers an alarm for any anomalies. Operating behind a military-grade firewall, the signal is then sent to three satellites covering the entire globe. These satellites, with serious firewalls, act as anonymizing proxies and communicate with a secret number of proxies hidden in colossal data centres, also guarded by additional firewalls. To enhance anonymity, the signal can be routed through the Tor network, although it’s usually unnecessary and could slow down the connection.
The signal switches between hidden servers and the three satellites, making it virtually impossible for hackers, even the NSA, to breach.
The objective is not to shield our computers, as there’s nothing sensitive about them—nothing to hack. The goal is to secure our online presence, ensuring absolute confidentiality about our location. We aim to access perpetrators’ bank accounts without leaving any traceable digital fingerprints.
We can listen in on phone conversations and intercept mail communication.
We are able to extract data from BOTH sides of any firewall.
How The Money Flows:
Our policy is clear: Leave the perpetrators as incapacitated as possible. This serves a dual purpose—ensuring the safety of our clients by minimizing the potential harm the perpetrators can cause and bolstering our own security.
We seize everything from traffickers and pedophiles—bank accounts, cars, houses, boats, bikes, phones, papers, and computers. The funds recovered go into a trust fund, financing our operations. Essentially, the adversaries we confront end up funding our efforts, stripped of means to hire a defense lawyer, making the world safer and our children happier.
How We Zero The Traffickers Bank Accounts
Our strategy is swift and impactful. We need computers on the move to promptly zero the perpetrators’ bank accounts—a primary function of The Tech Truck.
The money transfer is conducted through our privately owned bank, a unique digital setup used exclusively for transferring funds from traffickers’ bank accounts. There is only one account—ours—making it the world’s smallest bank. It regularly shifts its physical address from one African state to another, rendering transactions impossible to trace. The account number is never reused.
Even if authorities are on the lookout for a specific account, they will find it elusive. The bank’s relocation results in new owners in a new country, erasing the old bank and establishing a new one regularily. From this reimagined bank, we disperse the money in smaller portions to ordinary banks, often local establishments in Africa, where we personally collect the cash. The money disappears without a trace.
